What's that peep peep noise ?

WHAT'S THE MATTER, BERT  ?
That noise....what is it ???
OH....THOSE ARE BABIES :)
What is a baby ???
YOUR BABIES, BERT......
My babies ?!?!?!?
I FORGOT TO TELL YOU...YOU'RE A DADDY  ;)
What's a daddy ???
YOU BERT, YOU HAVE A FAMILY NOW.
What are you telling me ? I have to settle down ?
YUP :) AND EARN YOUR KEEP.
How many of them little peepers are in there btw  ?
WELL THE COUNT IS 5 ......
hmmmm.....only 5 ......well I guess that is okay then........
I'M STARTING ANOTHER NEST IN A FEW DAYS .....
say what ?!?!?!? ..........   thud !

Time to pack Henry's suitcase

HEY BERT, WHAT"S THE MATTER ?
Grumble, grumble, grumble......
BERT, IT IS SPRINGTIME, LOTS OF SUNSHINE
Yeah, I know. You keep reminding me.
SO WHY ARE YOU POUTING, BERT ?
It's that Henry rooster. He's still here. I want him gone.
NOW BERT, HENRY IS A GOOD BOY.
Since when ????????
BERT, I FOUND TOMMY A NEW HOME.
Yes, he is gone, yay !
CAN"T YOU SHARE THE HENS, BERT ?
Nooooooooooo ......
BERT, LET ME THINK SOME MORE ABOUT THIS.
Okay....but while you are thinking, I'm finding him a suitcase.
And don't be keeping a close eye on me....
Plan is to knock the stuffings out of that boy......
He'll be packing his own bag.......
oops....gotta go....
I see Henry sneaking up on one of my girls.
.......................

It's nite nite time chickens.

Well, must be I am the big boy  in the room now .... I sit in the corner spot so I can see the door good. It's called the top roost. Usually Lucy sneaks in first and gets the spot I like. I try to be nice, so I sit next to her. I face the door . Lucy likes looking at the wall. I think she is a bit backwards sometimes.  Oops........don't tell her I said that.

The other day, I was standing at the chicken door and would not let the other red rooster come in for the night. The lady human laughed at me, and told me to let Tommy come in. Wasn't my idea of a good time. He is a sneaky boy, always chasing my girls when he thinks I am not looking. The Henry rooster was already in the coop and acting innocent. His favorite look.

So when the sun starts to set, we chickens go to bed. When the sun comes up, we chickens climb off the roosts. Very simple.

The man human normally makes sure all is well and then shuts off the light for us.
He told me I can't play with the switch. He mumbled something about kid proofing it.
I don't understand him at times. I want to learn how to do new things.......

Little Red Hen in the nest box

Okay Red, what are you doing ?

SITTING ON EGGS

Red, you can't stay in the nest box all day.

YES I CAN. I'M WORKING.

Red, you need to get up and get some food and water.

OH NO. I'M BUSY.

Red, you NEED to go outside for awhile.

I need to gather the eggs under you.

Okay Red, give em up !!

HUMAN, NO  !

I WANNA BE A MOMMY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why are you on the roost at 7 am ?

Okay, Bert, time to get moving for the day. Why are you still on the roost ?
*I'm scared *
Why are you scared, Bert ?
*The big guy. He is still in the coop, and will hurt me if I jump down. *
You can outrun him, Bert. You are faster and quicker than he is.
*That's your opinion, not mine*
What if we put the big guy outside. Then will you come down ?
*Maybe, let me think about it *
Okay, Bert, the big guy is outside now. Come down.
*Do I have to ?*
Yes you need to get moving for the day. Come down.
*Okay, Okay. Wait a minute, there is he outside the little door.
Can I use the human door ? *
Yes Bert, you can use the human door. What are you going to do
when winter gets here ?
* Not a problem. I am going to hibernate ...........*

No, this chicken was not on the grill..........

What do you mean....where's the barbeque sauce ?!?!?!?

Lucy and Bert

What's an old car in the garage ????

" Oh, oh.....me thinks I am in trouble again....
here comes the lady human.....and she has this box in her hand. "
*BERT .....where are you ?!?!?!?! *

"Who is she looking for ?  Me ? Can't be me....I been good....
well at least the last five minutes or so, I have been good. Real good,
as a matter of fact.  "
So I stop so she can catch up with me...do my cute rooster dance....
and try to sing like Ernie used to...I am getting better, but can't hit them
high notes yet. Cock my head sideways at her, so she knows I am listening.

*Bert...have you been in the garage and near the old car ? *

"What's a car ? "

*You know, Bert....it's that big gold metal  box with wheels. It sits
in the back corner of the garage. Lots of dust on it. The man human
has not cleaned it up in a long time.  Have you been checking it out ? *

"Oh no ...not me.....I can't jump that high". ......
I can feel the sweat starting on my comb and wattles....
I hope she doesn't look too close at me.
I am trying to keep this innocent look on my face.

*Okay....when the man human gets home, I will show   
him the  41 Ford street rod, and the chicken tracks across the hood  ....
I took pictures , so I have evidence. .....You better start working on
 your story, Bert *

" okay, human..... .........
how much you want for that little black box ???
I got a nice pile of pretty rocks out back............
wanna trade ?!!?!?!? "


..

Why did the chicken cross the road ?

Because he wanted to get to the other side !
Now what kind of question is that to ask a rooster ???
The grass is greener on that side of the road.
I wanted to check it out.
And the man human was over there, so I thought if he can, so can I.
And of course, Lucy was with me, and we wandered over together.
I was so excited to have found new ground to check out.
Course he made me come back over to our lawn. Drats.
I thought I was in the clear. Little did I know.
Later in the day, the lady human caught up with me. Seems the man
 human had told her where we had been.
Man did I get a scolding.
She told me if she caught me, I was going to get my wings clipped.
No more flying over the fence. And the yard would be smaller and
have a roof .
Guess that means I better be a good rooster. Sigh....
Okay........I will try.
Maybe they will forget about my wandering.
I can only hope...............

Cold and rainy .......Fall is here.

It is getting colder and it is raining today.
The lady human told me I better get used to it. This is Fall.
The man human has been working more on our chicken house. It is now red 
and has some trim on the corners. I wanted to help but I was told I was underfoot.
I made sure to stay close though and keep an eye on things. Lots of pounding with
the hammer.
The man human made our yard a lot bigger this morning. He fenced in the garden area.
He used a machine to turn the dirt over. I was real excited. I kept calling the hens over
to check out all the bugs and worms. Oh lots of yummies and treats.
The hens really enjoyed the fresh dirt. Two of them looked like they were in hog heaven.
They each dug big holes so they could fluff their feathers. They were throwing dirt all directions.
I was trying to stay out of their way.
I did hear the lady human telling the man human that we would be getting a new feed dish soon.
She said that it would be one of those hanging ones, so there would be more floor room.
The other big rooster is still here. I am getting so frustrated with him. He crows a lot. Loud.
And he likes to sit in the doorway of the chicken house. The humans have to move him down
the wood ramp and out into the yard.. Keep telling him not to be such a couch potato. 
The lady human keeps telling us we are all going to have to earn our keep. The hens lay eggs.
She asked me what I was going to do. I told her that I am the funny guy. The comedian :)